Libby's Place, Inc.
Most of us had a childhood filled with both subtle and overt lessons of how people and things “should” be. Our family, culture, and society expect us to fit into a certain mold and behave a certain way. Because of the type of upbringing that many people experience, it can be very difficult for people […]
Most of us had a childhood filled with both subtle and overt lessons of how people and things “should” be. Our family, culture, and society expect us to fit into a certain mold and behave a certain way. Because of the type of upbringing that many people experience, it can be very difficult for people in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, and asexual (LGBTQA) community to come out to family and friends, and to live openly as who they are.
What Does It Mean to “Come Out”?
For LGBTQA people, to “come out” is to acknowledge and let others know about their sexual or gender identity. There is no wrong way or time to come out; how, when, or if you do so is uniquely personal to you. To not come out means you’re withholding who you are from people you know and may care about, and you may have to lie and pretend. For some people, it’s less stressful to hide than to be open. Don’t feel pressure to come out; you are the only one who can decide what is the best life for you.
Coming Out as an Adult
Coming out later in life poses some unique challenges. By adulthood, many people are already established in their career and may even be married and have children. Family, friends, and co-workers see you in a certain way, and may be shaken when they realize that you are not the person they thought they knew. Not everyone you come out to will be accepting, and some relationships may permanently change.
However, if you’re ready to come out, it means you don’t want to hide anymore and are ready to enrich your life with authenticity. This will inherently bring many benefits to you and your relationships such as reduced stress from hiding your identity, increase your self-esteem by being known and loved for who you truly are, and developing richer and more genuine relationships.
What to Say
You may want to start by writing out what you want to say so you can organize your thoughts and feelings. Some people prefer to tell their loved ones face to face, while others would rather send an email or make a phone call. Whatever way you choose, be sure to come out at a time when you’re not angry or arguing with someone. Also keep in mind that if you receive a negative or less than accepting response, this is just their initial reaction; they may need additional time to process what you’ve shared with them.
Coming out is never easy. It may be difficult and awkward at first, but it will ultimately bring you joy and free you from the burden of hiding an integral part of you who are.
If you’re looking for support and guidance on coming out as an LGBTQA adult, a licensed mental health professional can help. Give my office a call today, and let’s schedule an appointment to talk.
The LGBTQ movement has made some landmark strides in the past decade. The “Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell” policy was repealed, health insurance discrimination has been prevented, and same-sex marriage has been legalized nationwide. This, in combination with greater awareness and visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in society and the media, […]
The LGBTQ movement has made some landmark strides in the past decade. The “Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell” policy was repealed, health insurance discrimination has been prevented, and same-sex marriage has been legalized nationwide. This, in combination with greater awareness and visibility of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people in society and the media, has helped LGBTQ teens find the courage to come out to their families and friends.
Though it is easier for teens to come out today than in generations past, that does not mean they do not need support, and plenty of it. Here are a few important ways you can support LGBTQ teens in coming out:
1. Encourage Authenticity
There are different levels of coming out. Some teenagers may find the courage to say the words, yet still have a hard time fully expressing themselves. If left unchecked, this muted self-expression can lead to anxiety and depression down the road. Try to find ways to let young people in your life know they can be 100% authentic around you.
2. Help Create Safe Spaces
Take a look around your local community to see if there are safe spaces for LGBTQ youth. If not, what can you do to change that? You might want to consider contacting school board officials and encourage them to adopt inclusive policies. Another way to ensure your community is safe for LGBTQ teens is to not tolerate hate speech. There are also many resources online that offer the best practices in creating safe spaces for LGBTQ youth.
3. Join the Fight
Though the LGBTQ movement has come a long way, there is still much that needs to be done to ensure full LGBTQ equality. You can join the fight and stay up-to-date on local, state and federal advocacy.
If you know an LGBTQ teen who needs some extra support and encouragement while coming out, you might suggest they speak with a professional counselor who can facilitate communication with family members and also offer coping tools and strategies.
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 […]
As our parents age, we want to treasure them for as long as we can, so we look for ways to help them stay healthy and active. But many older people suffer from depression, a condition that is not always easy to battle.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, depression affects more than 6.5 million of the 35 million Americans aged 65 or older. Some have experienced episodes of depression throughout their life, while others may experience the first onset later in life, even well into their 80s and 90s.
What Causes Depression in Older People?
As mentioned, preexisting depression often leads to episodes later in life, particularly if the person has never been officially diagnosed or treated. Individuals with a history of anxiety often become more fearful as they age as well. As a result, they often isolate themselves, rarely participating in social activities, which, in turn, leads to depression.
Some older people have difficulty reviewing their lives. They may not feel proud of the life they’ve led and may get stuck dwelling on the more negative aspects. Perhaps they feel they did not accomplish enough, or they harbor resentment toward an old friend.
And of course, older people have to not only deal with declining abilities but also the loss of loved ones. A unique reality of aging is that your friends start to die, one by one. It is not uncommon for older people to go to several funerals in a single year.
How You Can Help
The very best thing you can do for your parent who you think may be suffering from depression is to offer your love and support. Let them know that you are there for them and happy to help with whatever they may need.
Having said this, it is equally important that you respect their needs for independence. Don’t try to take control of their life and act as if you know what’s best.
Also, consider visiting a therapist who can help your parent work through any unresolved issues and offer management strategies. A professional mental health professional can assess your parent to see if they are a good candidate for medication. Sometimes medication can help, other times, it can impair cognitive function. A therapist will know the right approach to take.
If you or someone you know has been watching their aging parent become more and more depressed, please get in touch with me. Let’s discuss treatment options and see how I may be able to help.
Dating is challenging for everyone. But when you suffer with depression, dating can feel scary and overwhelming. Not only do you feel particularly raw and vulnerable to possible rejection, but should a connection be made, you have the added burden of figuring out how and when to tell the person about your depression. Should people […]
Dating is challenging for everyone. But when you suffer with depression, dating can feel scary and overwhelming. Not only do you feel particularly raw and vulnerable to possible rejection, but should a connection be made, you have the added burden of figuring out how and when to tell the person about your depression.
Should people with depression date? If the person feels emotionally strong enough, then yes of course they should date. The real question is HOW should they date? If you are suffering with depression and are interested in dating, here are some things to consider when meeting new potential partners:
There is no need to open up to someone on a first date and let them know that you suffer with depression. You’ll want to invest a little bit of time to see if this person is someone you think you could get serious with.
If after a few dates you think he or she could be someone you’d like to go deeper with, then feel free to test the waters on the topic of depression. Don’t feel you have to get into nitty-gritty details; simply tell them that you live with depression and see how they react.
Your potential partner may have follow-up questions immediately or they may think about things for a while and then bring up some questions later. Whenever they do, be honest with your answers.
It will be tempting to want to downplay things in order to put your best self forward. But not being honest about your symptoms and reality will backfire eventually. Let them know you have good days and bad and if you are currently taking medications and/or seeing a therapist. Answer as many questions as you feel comfortable with, but when you do, just be sure to be honest and not pretend you are someone you’re not.
Everyone has dating pitfalls and patterns, and people with depression are no different. It’s important that you respect past dating failures so you can prevent them from happening again. For instance, did you tend to date people who made you feel bad about yourself? If you find you’re doing it again, call things off and take some time to regroup.
Seeking the help from a licensed therapist can help you work out any issues you have that are hindering your relationships. If you notice you keep repeating past mistakes, try and talk with someone who can help you navigate your own behavior.
If you or a loved one suffers from depression and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
The birth of a new baby brings joy and wonder into our lives. But for many women, the first days and weeks after delivery are mentally and emotionally challenging. This is a result of the massive hormonal changes her body is going through. On top of these extreme hormonal shifts, there is the serious sleep […]
The birth of a new baby brings joy and wonder into our lives. But for many women, the first days and weeks after delivery are mentally and emotionally challenging. This is a result of the massive hormonal changes her body is going through.
On top of these extreme hormonal shifts, there is the serious sleep deprivation and the cultural expectations new mothers feel to instantly bond with their babies and be “good enough.” All of this pressure can lead to some pretty difficult emotions.
While a majority of women experience a mild depression, called the “baby blues,” roughly 5% of women will suffer a major depressive episode that can be accompanied by severe anxiety and even panic attacks.
Are you wondering if your partner is suffering from postpartum depression? Here are 5 signs to watch for:
1. She’s Feeling Guilty
Does she often mention her feelings of guilt about not doing a better job? Is she putting too much pressure on herself to be perfect right out of the gate?
2. She Finds Little Comfort in Reassurance
It’s natural for a new mother to feel a bit anxious about the job she’s doing. But with post-partum depression, the anxiety can feel overwhelming, and even gentle reassurances from partners, parents and other loved ones bring little relief. In fact, some women even feel they are being lied to or patronized.
3. She’s Losing Interest in Certain Things
Post-partum depression is like other forms of depression in that the person will lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. Your partner may no longer find the same things interesting or fun. She may also lose her appetite and interest in sex.
4. She Doesn’t Want to be Around the Baby
It’s normal for a new mother to want others to help her care for the baby in those first few weeks. But when a new mother shows no interest in her baby and refuses to spend time with them, that is a sign that something more serious is going on. While it is hard to imagine, post-partum depression can cause women to feel no affection, and at times, even disdain, for their own baby.
5. Thoughts of Harming Herself or the Baby
If your partner mentions that you and the baby would be better off without her, or that she feels there is something very wrong with the baby, these are signs that must be taken seriously and immediately acted upon. According to studies, suicide is the second leading cause of death in postpartum women.
If your partner is showing one or more of these signs, it’s important to get her help. A therapist may prescribe medication and offer tools and techniques that will help her manage her symptoms.
If you or someone you know would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Life is full of moments that cause us to feel stressed or nervous. Getting up and speaking in front of a large group of people, starting a new school, and trying to ace that important job interview – all of these scenarios can make us fearful, resulting in sleepless nights and performance jitters. The problem […]
Life is full of moments that cause us to feel stressed or nervous. Getting up and speaking in front of a large group of people, starting a new school, and trying to ace that important job interview – all of these scenarios can make us fearful, resulting in sleepless nights and performance jitters.
The problem starts when this fear becomes persistent and overwhelming and interferes with everyday life. At this point “normal fear” becomes a full-blown anxiety disorder.
While a certified therapist should be consulted to develop a plan for treating your anxiety disorder, yoga is an effective and natural way to get some relief from symptoms like trouble sleeping, muscle tensions, and chronic digestive upset.
Yoga, it turns out, can help control anxiety in a few different ways:
1. Yoga Builds Confidence
Anxiety can result from a lack of confidence in our ability to handle negative situations, either real or theoretical, that may arise. We are not so much fearful of public speaking as we are fearful that we are somehow going to “screw up.”
Yoga is a major confidence-builder because it works to strengthen the body and mind at the same time. The practice includes body postures and breathing techniques, along with ancient meditation approaches, and combined, these can help a person feel calm, centered, and able to handle any situation that crops up in their life.
2. Yoga Distracts Your Mind from the Negative Loop
What can you do when your mind seems to be stuck on an endless loop of negative and worrisome thoughts? Distract with other thoughts.
Yoga trains a person to focus their thoughts on the moment, specifically by thinking only of their rhythmic breath. As soon as the mind wanders to its typical negative thinking, the practitioner simply guides it back to the breath without anger or judgement. Feelings of calmness and acceptance naturally follow intense breath work.
3. Yoga is like Your Inner Therapist
Yoga is a wonderful compliment to therapy because, like your therapist, yoga helps you to observe how your mind works. And, also like your therapist, there is no judgement involved. Mediation is simply about paying attention to the thoughts you are having, keeping the thoughts that are helpful and releasing those that are harmful.
Yoga and meditation will also help you to train your mind to focus on the positive aspects of your life. When you surround yourself with positivity, the fear of negativity subsides.
If you or a loved one is interested in exploring treatment for your anxiety disorder, please contact me today. I would be happy to speak with you about how I may be able to help.
For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience. As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to […]
For many of us, college was absolutely the best time in our lives. The freedom and friendships made those four years incredibly special. But college isn’t all sparkles and unicorns. For others, college is a completely different and often negative experience.
As fun as it can be, it’s also incredibly stressful, especially when it comes time to take an exam. The bigger and more important the exam is, the more we tend to suffer from anxiety, and the less likely we are to do our best.
If this scenario sounds all too familiar to you, then use the following tips and exercises to help lower your anxiety before the next big exam you take:
1. Breathe Deeply
When we feel fear, our body can go into an adrenaline-fueled panic mode. This chemical and physical reaction is how our ancestors survived numerous threats. But in this state, our minds do not function properly. In fact, they often go completely blank.
When we take slow, deep breaths, we help our bodies go from the survival response to a relaxed response. This helps the blood flow back into our brain and helps us focus on the task at hand.
2. Change Your Perspective
Most of us think of tests as something designed specifically to trick us. The truth is, if you have studied and are totally prepared, then the test is actually an opportunity for you to show off how much you know.
The other truth is your professors WANT you to pass. When you pass, they look good. So stop going into the exam with a negative attitude and go in feeling confident and knowing your teachers want you to do well.
3. Start Strong
To set the right tone for the test, scan it to find those questions you are 100% sure about and answer those first. This will help you feel confident and put your mind into a free-flow thinking state.
4. Be Realistic
What is your history of taking exams? Have you generally done well in the past? Are you a good student that makes an effort? If so, remind yourself of these facts. It’s easy to have dramatic and unrealistic ideas floating around in your head right before an exam. Thoughts like, “I’m gonna fail and then I won’t pass the class and I won’t get my degree and will end up working at Starbucks the rest of my life if I’m lucky.”
This likely won’t happen so don’t make an already stressful situation worse by being unrealistic.
5. Exercise
Exercise the morning before your exam. This will not only release built-up tension in your muscles (make sure to stretch after your workout), but it will also release “feel-good” endorphins that will put you in a better frame of mind.
If you would like some extra help handling the stressors of academic life, please reach out to me today to schedule an appointment.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/lib/9-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-right-here-right-now/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201502/test-anxiety-quick-tips
If you belong to the BIOPC community and suffer from poor mental health, you’re not alone. In the United States, there are over 15 million indigenous people and people of color that report struggling with mental health issues. Sadly, these people often face roadblocks to seeking the help they need. 1. It’s Seen as a […]
If you belong to the BIOPC community and suffer from poor mental health, you’re not alone. In the United States, there are over 15 million indigenous people and people of color that report struggling with mental health issues. Sadly, these people often face roadblocks to seeking the help they need.
Very often people in the BIOPC community stop themselves from getting the help they need because there is a cultural or social stigma within their group. As an example, in some BIOPC communities, seeking treatment is a sign that you are “crazy” and in other cases “weak.”
Oftentimes, people within the BIOPC community do not speak English. Unless you live in a large, urban area where other languages may be spoken by practicing clinicians, it can be challenging finding a provider who will speak your language.
And, according to the American Psychological Association, 86% of psychologists in the U.S. are White. This means it can be challenging to find a provider who understands your culture and background and the specific challenges you face.
If you cannot find a provider in your area that is of the same race, it is recommended that you ask prospective mental health providers about their training and background to get a sense of whether you’d feel comfortable working with them or not. You can ask things like:
3. A Lack of Available Resources
People within the BIOPC community often have a lack of access to proper resources where they can even learn about mental health and what they may be experiencing. The National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) is a great resource to take advantage of and to share with other members of your community.
If you are suffering from a mental health issue such as depression, PTSD or anxiety and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I have had cultural competence training and always make it a point to incorporate my BIOPC clients’ values and culture into our treatment plan.
RESOURCES:
April is National Minority Health Month, a time for individuals within the BIOPC community to focus on addressing their mental health needs. Started 20 years ago, the National Minority Health Month Foundation launched National Minority Health Month to strengthen the commitment of local communities and mental health practitioners to eliminate the barriers minority populations often […]
April is National Minority Health Month, a time for individuals within the BIOPC community to focus on addressing their mental health needs. Started 20 years ago, the National Minority Health Month Foundation launched National Minority Health Month to strengthen the commitment of local communities and mental health practitioners to eliminate the barriers minority populations often face when struggling with mental health issues.
During this time, many of us, including those in the BIOPC communities, are facing daily struggles in dealing with the continued stressors related to the Covid-19 pandemic. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Minority Health has released some guidelines and suggestions to help individuals stay as healthy as possible during this time.
Moving our body is not only good for our physical health but also our mental health. Not only do we feel good about ourselves when we commit to an exercise regimen, but the movement itself helps our body to release “feel good” hormones that can alleviate stress and anxiety.
When we are dealing with stressful situations, most of us tend to reach for unhealthy comfort foods laden with trans fats and refined sugars. Not only do these foods tend to make us pack on weight, but the chemicals in these foods can exacerbate our mental health issues, making us feel more depressed and tired.
It’s important to eat foods that support our mental health. Be sure to get enough protein and healthy fats. Your brain needs healthy fats to function properly.
When we are struggling with stress, depression or anxiety, it’s important that we are kind to ourselves and practice self-compassion and self-care. Take time for yourself each day to show yourself some love and nurture your spirit. Meditate, listen to music or get that massage you know you need!
It’s also a good idea to reach out to a mental health professional to get some guidance and tools to help you navigate what you are going through. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me. I’d be more than happy to speak with you about how I might be able to help.
You may also want to check out this resource for some other minority health resources.
RESOURCES:
April is National Counseling Awareness Month, and so I thought it would be a good idea to take this time to talk a little about mental health and the benefits of seeking treatment for whatever issues you may be facing. When we talk about mental health, we are talking about our emotional, psychological and social […]
April is National Counseling Awareness Month, and so I thought it would be a good idea to take this time to talk a little about mental health and the benefits of seeking treatment for whatever issues you may be facing.
When we talk about mental health, we are talking about our emotional, psychological and social well-being. Our mental health not only affects how we feel but also how we think and behave as well as handle stress and make decisions.
Just how common are mental illnesses in the United States? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:
While there is no single cause of mental illness, there are some common factors that are believed to contribute to the risk of developing mental health issues. These include:
Living with a mental illness can be incredibly painful. This is why National Counseling Awareness Month was started, to help those in need recognize there are people and resources available to them. A professionally trained therapist can help you uncover the cause of your mental illness as well as offer tools and coping mechanisms to turn your life around.
To find a therapist near you, you can use this directory, which lists therapists by state and specialty. Keep in mind that many therapists are now offering sessions over the internet, so it may be best to pick someone you feel more comfortable with instead of someone who is geographically close.
I do offer telehealth services and would be more than happy to speak to you about what is going on. Please feel free to reach out to me.
Resources:
